The incredible en’s and ow’s
By O. sweetman
Hi, I’m Oscar and me and my friend Nicholas are in a band together.
Our favourite food is crunchie bars. 
We have them at band practise. You see I play drums and he plays guitar. Even though we live 20 minutes away we have band practise almost every sunday or the sunday after. When he comes to my place he brings his acoustic guitar and goes on
THE ELECTRIC GUITAR
And when I go to his house I take a drum and we watch videos of our favourite band king. King is the most amazing ROCK band. The lead singer wears a cool yellow jacket. And the guitarist has long crazy hair. And when ever we had band practise we had crunchie bars
How
We
Met
Me and Nicholas went to a rock academy. It was the perfect place for kids who ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You learned songs then went busking and they split the money and gave them to the actual kids. You earned like 40 bucks after the week.
And that’s when me and Nicholas met.
At the rock academy before busking we all went to the cafe to eat so we don’t get hungry. We were all allowed a donut or a fizzy drink and something like a pie. But we were only allowed one sweet thing. Nicholas and i choses large fries and a coke.
Our average amount of money we earned at the end of the day was 7-10 dollars.
We then made our band en’s and ow’s and we made our first song called Ghost Town rock at the rock academy. And lot’s of other songs like Crunchie Bars Are The Best which goes like this
Crunchie Bars Are The Best
LYRICS
Crunchie bars are the best.
Crunchie bars are the best
Crunchie bars are the best
Oh did I hear you say yo don’t like crunchie bars
Oh did I hear you say yo don’t like crunchie bars
So did I hear you say you don’t like crunchie bars
(SO MUCH CRUNCH SO MUCH CRUNCH)
Crunchie bars are the best
Guitar solos
So I hope you like crunchie bars because….
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
Yeah
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
Yeah
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
Yeah
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
Yeah
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
Yeah
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
Yeah
CRUNCHIE BARS ARE THE BEST
SOMETHING T
We also loved to watch our favourite youtuber something T! He makes videos about guitar and mixes it with comedy and parody. He will make you
Lol
Laugh out loud
My dad also plays drums and my mum sometimes plays piano. The first beat dad taught me on the drums was 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and
On the floor tom and the snare
Here is my drum kit
Nicholas plays on a red acoustic guitar
And we have both made some pretty good songs on our instruments. I wrote songs like
The bug catcher boy
Fast food
Cherry
Gamers 4 life
And nicholas wrote songs like
Happy Birthday (no not the original song a rock song)
Don’t Eat My Sandwiches
The earth blows up (very dark song (pun) )
He even wrote Crunchie bars are the best
But i think our main hit is Bagels N Burgers. This song is a heavy Punk rock that will get rid of classical forever
Our second main hit is probably Ghost Town Rock. On that song Nicholas plays on his red guitar and I play a scary little solo on my Keyboard
It’s a ghost riff
We even use my dad’s zoom recorder to record songs then we put them onto the computer and we call it an album
Our first album is called Major Rock
Our second album is The Two Little Muppets
Our third album is No lies
Our fourth album is Better And Better
We don’t have a fifth album
BUT IT’S COMING SOON!
We have always wanted to play a Gig maybe one day we will. When were older and like our favourite band KING
The next day I find out that nicholas is moving closer to my house so he will be able to come to my school YAY!!
Today me and Nicholas are at school time (it’s eating time) talking about king and ROCK N ROLL and eating Crunchie bars until these 3, 16 year olds come. They say look at this a bunch of sick losers. We tell them we don’t want trouble and were not losers (which is true) and then they call me an idiot
I say to them what do you want! And they say we want your crunchie bars. And they take them. We have to find them
The principle comes and says that they have to give back our crunchie bars (phew) but then he lets them go and says WE have to go for detention. What for? I ask. She says no chocolate at school
I think that’s straight up STUPID!!!!!!
Which gets us into more trouble (WHAT THE HECK)
At 3 oclock me and Nicholas walk home then we see a poster that says GOODIE CAFE wants a band to play on friday night at 7 oclock- 8 30 we sign up. THIS WILL BE AWESOME OUR FIRST GIG. it’s tuesday and if we need to get that gig we have to
Practise
PRACTISE
Practise!!!!!!
We get home and ask our parents if we can. They say yes but only if they can come to get an eye on us (ok) we go to the auditions at GOODIE CAFE the same place at rock academy for auditions. We play our songs, Bagels N burgers, Crunchie Bars Are The Best and Ghost Town Rock, they love it. They say were going to play the gig (YAY) from 6 30- 8 oclock- the KING is going to play from 8-0clock till 10 30 OMG WE’RE GOING TO MEET THE MEMBERS OF KING. We are both so excited. Mum says that King’s concert is going to end at 10 30 so we have to go straight to bed afterwards. ONLY 3 days until the concert we better practise, I say. Nicholas nods.
We’ve been practising for ages and my foot is aching from hitting the bass drum over and over again and my arms are hurting. I bet nicholas’ hand is hurting from strumming so much. I know what will cheer us up something T! He uploaded a video the other day as a king fail live. Let’s watch that. It was funny. But it doesn’t help.
We need to listen to some more rock. So we go into the record shelf and find an album by rage against the machine called rage against the machine.
We find a sticker that says
What does that mean? We think. We play it. Then we listen to killing in the name of which is angry. It really inspires us. Then we hear them say lots of rude stuff
We think on what to do.
The right thing or the wrong thing.
The right thing would be to turn it off and don’t listen to ones that say PARENTAL ADVISORY explicit content.
The wrong thing would be to keep swearing.
We do the wrong thing.
We start to add rude lyrics into our songs.
but then the next day we are rapping to this hip hop song in the 80s that swears. And we get told off. I now regret that we did the wrong thing. Then dad says we can’t perform at GOODIE CAFE.
What!
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Now we’ll never become famous. We’ll never meet king. We’ll never be like king. Oh no what have we done. I think it’s a bit harsh. All we did was curse. Ok we shouldn’t have done that. Then even worse grandma and grandad are coming to eat mac and cheese with the family and we’re all going to listen to our new fifth album that we made the other day. Which had so much swearing. And grandma and grandad get really upset when they hear rude words. They get offended when they hear the sentence shut up (weird). I try to see if dad will play another album like his GNR album. But he says it swears and we can’t swear in front of granny and grandad. He also says I can’t hear swears. I’m already not allowed to perform at GOODIE CAFE. so the night comes. Nicholas and I are trying to remember if we have any songs we could play on the album that doesn’t swear.
NO.
We can’t think of any song. We could play sweet moul sweet soul. A funny song we wrote with no swearing. Grandma likes funny songs. But now we think it’s embarrassing. Here’s how it goes.
Sweet moul sweet soul.
Sweet soul sweet moul would you be mine
Sweet soul sweet mole would you be miiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeeee
Sweet mole sweet mole sweet soul sweet soul
MOLE!
Drum solo
Repeat sweet mole sweet soul lyrics
Guitar solo
THE END.
We are not playing that!
We’re dead.
Dad grabs the computer and plays it. They here every swear word
Grandma’s face looks like it’s about to explode. Then dad yells at me. But then I say no you swear to. Grandma and grandpa look shocked. Now I’m not allowed to play at GOODIE CAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT’S NOT FAIR!!
Then mum says life’s not fair.
Ive had enogh of this stupid rules!!!.
Then dad yells a bad word at me. Then grandpa and grandma go off looking mad. Dad says now we’re definitely not performing.
GOODIE CAFE
Concert
The day has come. It’s 20 minutes until the goodie cafe concert. The family is watching the concert on the TV. Which I think is mean!
And now i’m sad we won’t be able to perform (MAD SAD)
We have to think of something. We quickly climb out of the window and bike to the cafe.
When we get their we see the show is sponsored by
bars
Then we MEET KING. they are the coolest dudes ever. I can’t believe we are opening act. The show is starting in 5 minutes. I’m so worried about how mad our parents are going to be at us but I don’t think about that. I think about performing. It’s about to start and we’re on TV. we start to play Ghost Town Rock and Bagels N burgers. Everyone is loving it (WELL OBVIOUSLY) and clapping their hands and stomping their feet. We are going to be famous after this. Even King is supporting us. WOW. The show is over and we walk home nervous about how angry our parents will be. WHEN WE GET HOME…
THERE SO PROUD. (what?) they say we did an awesome job they saw us on the TV. If they’re so proud of how good we were, why did you try to make us not go? Then we next see on TV that the band En’s And Ow’s
I’m going to play another gig at the same place. We’re gonna be famous. This is the best day of my life.
(second best my favourite day was when me and nicholas ate a 100 million dollar crunchie bar cake)
We’re now practising to be the best band in the world. We already played a successful gig. But hopefully our next gig will be as successful (and hopefully better than the last one). We then get ready to go the the gig but we’ve still got time to stick and watch some SomethingT on YouTube
He just made a video about EN’S AND OW’S (us!!!!). He said that he was at the GOODIE CAFE concert. We never saw him there. He also said his favourite songs of ours are Crunchie Bars Are the Best, Bagels N burgers and Cherry.
(I think those are everyone’s faves) we loved the video so much. We live in NZ and he lives really far away. We must be such a good hit. We loved the video so much we watch it again (for the 5th time) then we realise WERE LATE FOR THE CONCERT. We turn on the TV and see that they’re waiting for us. If they were not there in 10 minutes were closing for the rest of the day (everyone’s chanting BOO!). We rush like THE FLASH get on our bikes and ride to there. We got there and it took us 13 minutes. Oh no there closed everyones getting refunds we run in and say WAIT. were late sorry can we just all forget about this. We’re here now. Then the owner says
Look im very sorry
My falo friends
You’re late.
I’ve already given everyone back there money
Please
We beg
Just 1 song
Only 1
Then he says
Fine 1 song
We try to decide over which song to play then we spot Something T. we run up to him. And we say HI SOMETHING T. he says OH HI your en’s and oh’s. Yes we are, we are such a big fan of you. We watched your video of us (5 times) before we came here that’s why we’re late. Then we tell him that we’re gonna play one of his favourite songs of ours and we let him pic (get it guitar pic) he says you haven’t played Cherry as much as our main hits. So we play that. Everyone loved it here’s how the song goes (it’s about a mean teacher I had in Year 2)
Cherry
Bye bye cherry
Your ugly chin
Your terrible grin!
I’LL THROW YOU IN THE BIN!
Chorus
Bye bye cherry
Bye bye cherry
(I know we went a little to harsh on that old lady)
Then something T says we did the best job and he wants to invite US!!! To the studio to make a video. Wow where so famous (almost). We have a tiny bit to go.
When your done reading this we’re gonna be
famous!!!
We wake up in the morning to go to something T’s studio. When we get there he tells us that he loves guitarists the SHRED. In the video we react to band Misheard lyrics. And we tell him that we have a misheard lyric in our song
All the songs you listened to when you were a kid.
The lyrics say YUMMY FOOD
Put it came out as YUMMY POO!! (yuck!)poop!!!
In the video we do something different from what something t would normally do
PRANK CALLS
Then we call the police and say
Hi this is joe
Joe who?
Joe mama!
Then we call another police officer and say
Hi this is joe
Joe who?
Joe anus!!!
We have a whole lot of fun
We go home and watch the video its called
The funniest prank calls featuring en’s and ow’s
We watch it. It’s the funniest video ever. And it’s 6M (six million) views!
We are now FAMOUS
Hey en’s and ow’s fans the real band king is queen. Go listen to them. In real life we couldn’t be rocking this hard.
And the real youtuber something t is stevie t (AKA SteveTerreBerry)
Go sub subscribeto him on youtube
So he can reach 3 million subscribers.
Thanks a lot for reading this book
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Yes you. Keep rocking dudes!!!!!!!!
FASCINATING INSPIRES 